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Oh, and I didn't see him again. I don't think I would be able to contain my laughter. I started seeing this guy after breaking off a five-year-long relationship.

Things went slow for a while because we had so many friends in common, we wanted to make sure it would work out before jumping into a relationship and then having to call it off.

Great, fantastic. After some weeks of keeping it PG, we went to his house Didn't think much of it or notice the size.

Some days later we tried again — he did get it up, but when he went to put it in, it was just…impossible. It was as if it were my first time all over again.

I remember thinking of that SATC episode where Samantha really tries to make it work but the guy is just too big. We gave up. But now I was intrigued.

So we gave it a third shot. After a party where we both drank way too much, we ran to his place. He didn't have condoms so, as he told me later, he asked his friend for one as we were exiting the party.

The borrowed condom turned out to be red. We dated for a year. After I had my IUD put in, my boyfriend could feel the strings. The IUD is in your uterus but the strings hang down into your vagina so you can check to confirm that the IUD is still in place.

So my doctor trimmed them a bit shorter. When I told him during my next appointment that my boyfriend could STILL feel the strings, he looked completely taken aback.

That's when I knew I was dealing with an EP enormous penis. So, years ago, I devoted my entire existence to sexual conquest.

It's pretty common, particularly for gay meth addicts, to just obsessively cycle through one hookup to the next, trying to stay high and get more sex.

As a general bottom with storied experience with the D, I figured that I was up for any challenge. I was a professional, so I thought.

I meet a fellow on Adam4Adam who claims to have a footlong penis. I think it's bullshit: I know that most penises online are around eight inches and in reality they're more like six.

So, I'm guessing that this guy is just exaggerating to try to rope in hungry bottoms. I figure, at best, he's nine inches and just exaggerating.

Male ego and all that. So I invite him over. You good? Something like that. I hung out on a nude beach in Hawaii for a few months. One guy had the biggest penis on the beach — this huge, footlong, uncircumcised, monstrous-looking dong.

He was so proud! My first one-night stand when I was He was so big he nearly broke me. My ex's dick was like a baseball bat.

Seriously — in length, girth, and shape. It had a larger head than shaft so it felt amaaaazing when he took his time and pulled all the way out and back in.

But heaven help me when he got to pounding away, I could feel my cervix wincing. Ten inches and as thick as my wrist. The problem? He thought his 10 inches was all he needed to bring to the bedroom to make the sex good.

He just laid there like the physical incarnation of a yawn. Best sex I ever had? Five inches with a "throw me up against a wall" attitude that did.

I went to a tiny Christian university and was dating a boy who grew up very religious. Because we were both religious at the time we were not having penetrative sex.

I just assumed this was normal. After a year and a half of dating we never had penetrating sex. I was 18, and the guy I was seeing was this 6'7" football player, and when the time came to get naked, it was so big, I lied and said I was out of condoms so I could avoid trying to accommodate such a giant.

My inexperience definitely contributed to my lack of confidence. Can't say I would have declined if I saw it today!

At the beginning of my sophomore year of college, I met this guy from another college who was visiting some friends.

We ended up hooking up that night, and his penis was the biggest I had ever seen — at least 10 inches hard. Fast-forward to me going down on him, it was too big to fit in my mouth and it fell out, but when it fell out it flung back and smacked onto his stomach and made a really loud slapping noise.

A survey of college students found that 89 percent of women were only interested in partners taller than them while 47 percent of men were open to dating a woman who was taller them.

The man is the shorter partner in only four percent of heterosexual pairings. If you ask any height-obsessed woman — or me, a decade ago — they'll probably feed you some line about a tall man making them feel "safe" or "tiny.

What are we saying when we say we want a big man to make us feel tiny? Are we saying that we believe that it's sexually ideal that women take up as little space as possible, that we're at our most attractive when we look itty bitty compared to our male partner?

You don't need a women's studies degree to know that that's whack. Also, I have a women's studies degree and I say it's whack.

Being obsessed with men's height — in a way that you'd never obsess about any other one of their qualities — is bad for women, bad for dating, and reinforces a society that says physical traits we can't control are more important than who we really are or what we achieve.

As someone who falls two inches short of the average female height , I never even thought that dating a guy my height was an option worth thinking about.

But I'm glad I did. Today, I'm about to celebrate my fifth anniversary with a wonderful dude who is roughly my height, and I would like you to know that height ain't nothing but a number.

And yes, all of the GIFS below feature male celebrities who are 5'8" or shorter. Free your minds, people! You'll never again have to engage in that weird orchestrated moment of stretching and bending, where you can't really enjoy the kiss because you're on your tiptoes and your super-tall dude is hunched over at a weird angle, and everyone involved is about to develop a hernia.

When you date a guy who's around the same height as you, a kiss can just be a kiss, no step stools or pulley systems required.

I had a long relationship with a dude who was 6'2" — a whole foot taller than me. When we stood side-by-side, his penis was about even with my abdomen, which made sex exactly as awkward as you'd imagine.

With a short dude, there's no problem — all your parts align, and you're free to get creative, instead of spending all your time just trying to get your genitals on the same visual plane.

Trust me. Or don't! Trust this study, published in the way-too-entertaingly-titled Annals of Sex Research, which found that there was basically no connection between height and penis size.

But also, seriously, trust me.

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